Lobbyist Leah Vaughn (Sanaa Lathan) gets over a heart-wrenching breakup after meeting Carter Duncan in The Perfect Guy. But Carter (portrayed by Micheal Ealy) turns out to be too good to be true and downright scary. Ealy is Lathan’s fellow executive producer of the film, which opened this weekend.
Lathan describes The Perfect Guy as a modern-day Fatal Attraction, the 1987 dramatic thriller in which Glenn Close made many a man think twice about sleeping around. Although Ealy normally portrays a heartthrob with bedroom eyes, he looked so sinister in his current role that Lathan says she tried to avoid him on set.
In a message to every woman seeking a healthy, fulfilling relationship, Lathan explained the film’s storyline as a cautionary tale about charming, handsome men. “There’s a fine line between persistence and stalking,” Lathan said in an interview to promote the film, especially in this era of enhanced technology and social media, which can make it harder to shake an overly attentive suitor.
Celia Maxwell, MD, assistant vice president for Health Sciences and director of the Women’s Health Institute at Howard University, also discussed this fine line during a forum co-sponsored by FierceforBlackWomen.com earlier this week. Excessive attentiveness can be potential signs of controlling behavior — from monitoring calls and whereabouts to questioning a woman’s attire, Maxwell said.
So is Lathan looking for a perfect guy?
“I don’t think anyone’s perfect,” she said. “It’s really about finding that imperfect, perfect person for you.” Currently single and satisfied, Lathan is taking it slow and enjoying life — especially after losing a close friend in the past year.
When it comes to relationships, “it’s important to take your time,” she believes. “Time reveals things.”
Looking for the Perfect Guy?
Here’s some timeless advice that’s worth repeating from Fierce advisor and psychologist Brenda Wade, Ph.D., aka the Modern Love Doctor:
- Don’t go toward the one who looks right. Choose the one who feels right — easy and warm and definitely different from anyone you would have chosen in the past.
- Believe in you. “I’m not saying it’s easy, you have to work it body, mind, and spirit. But think of this way, tell yourself, ‘I am not desperate. I am delightful.’ You have to believe that you are lovable.
- “Do not settle,” Wade emphasizes. “When you settle, you shrink yourself. It changes your energy and your biology,” explains Wade, author of What Mama Couldn’t Tell us About Love.
- Rewrite your story. “I say we define our reality. You must tell yourself what your life is about. Start making the choice, say: ‘I deserve to have what I want.’ You have to hold onto your power, though it’s so much easier to give away your power. There are wonderful men out there; they might not all be black men, but there are great men out there.”
- Have hope. “I have a trophy box in my office filled with wedding invitations from women of all ages who came to me and said that they wanted to get married and have children, but they had given up. There was no hope. I asked them to change their world view and believe, all I asked is that I get a wedding invitation, I didn’t even need to attend the, and I now have a box full of them.” so hold onto the thought that it is possible to make your dreams come true.
Hear more of Dr. Wade’s great advice on her Modern Love Podcasts.